She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
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Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
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should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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