I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
