Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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