No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
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