Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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