so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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