dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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