Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
