How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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