I could have mohawked her pubes.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
