Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
