I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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