i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize