I wish I could teleport
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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