South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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