woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
