He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
