did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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