3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
only if we run a train.
done.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
