I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I got inside last night via doggy door
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
