Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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