Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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