i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
