ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
