Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I need to sanitize my soul.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
