i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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