i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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