Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
