3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
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