1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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