Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
