Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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