You're my little dorito
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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