You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
