I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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