explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
