pedialite and red bull = repair kit
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
