DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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