Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
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Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
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Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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