so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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