Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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