I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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