Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
