my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
What drink are we having for lunch?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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