You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
