you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
