its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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