I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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