what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
