What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
