Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Less talking, more tequila
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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