You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
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I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
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There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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