Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
