got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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