how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
