so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
