Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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