I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
