I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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