New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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