i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
