Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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